Saturday, December 27, 2008

Lost In Daydreams...

Have you ever thought about what you actually went through when you simply froze and stared in the moment, not just blinking even once... your emotions slowly drift away...your soul detached subtly from your body... And when it hit you, you shook your head once or twice, it rushed back to your body and felt alive again... then you thought to yourself... "What was i thinking about just now?"

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Death In Half And The Whole Body

Ploy was spending the school holiday with his grandparents in their home far from the city. He brought with him ideas he had acquired from school.

One day, he asked "Grandpa, could you tell me where my computer game is?"

"Sorry, dear child. I don't even know the word Computer. How can I tell you where it is located?" replied Grandpa.

"Oh, sorry to hear that, Grandpa. You should upgrade your memory system and make it high-tech, so you will go with the times," Ploy said. "You don't even know the word computer, you seem to be dead in half of your body," he continued.

Later on the same day, Ploy and his grandpa went to the pagoda by boat. Halfway there the boat began to take in water very fast, and looked like it would sink in the deepest part of the river.
"What are we going to do, Grandpa? I don't know how to swim" said a very scared Ploy who began to cry.

His grandpa began laughing and said to his grandson, "I don't know what the computer is: I'll die in just half of my body. But you don't know how to swim. If the boat sinks, you will die, not in just half, but in your whole body."

Because of You, my Dearest Teacher

"Any Idiots in this classroom? Please stand up," asked the beautiful teacher, after teaching some grammar point to her students. It was silently for such a long time, as teacher thought all the students were clear with her psychologist question. Then, Little boy stood up at the first row of the table while his teacher turning around to front.

"Why do you think you are an idiot person in this classroom, my dear Boy?" teacher questioned.

"Because, there is no body standing up, but only you. And I am so pity on you, teacher, "the Boy responded. "That's why I am standing, " he continued

"Anyway, what do you mean by saying an Idiot?" the Boy asked.

"An Idiot is person who say complicated something that causes other people confuse and not understand," she answered, "Do you understand my little Boy?" she went on.

"I still don't understand what you are talking about." he responded.

"Stop that, Boy! You mean that I am an idiot person, do you? " angrily said the teacher."Go home, now! Here is your homework"

Later the same day, the Boy came to his father for help with his homework.

"Daddy, what is the difference between the words Confident and Confidential? "the Boy asked.

"oh, my dearest son! You are a very handsome, intelligent, and hard-working student. I am so proud of you and very confident to have you as my lovely son, dear, "He said, "But when you have a friend who is my another son at school, don't you tell anybody. It is confidential. "He continued.

Man + Woman

Smart Man + Smart Woman = Romance

Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Pregnancy

Dumb Man + Smart Woman = Affair

Dumb Man + Dumb Woman = Marriage

Smart Boss + Smart Employee = Profits

Smart Boss + Dumb Employee = Production

Dumb Boss + Smart Employee = Promotion

Dumb Boss + Dumb Employee = Overtime

A man will pay $2.00 for a $1.00 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1.00 for a $2.00 item that she does not need.

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

To be happy with a man, you must love him a little and understand him a lot.

To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate overnight.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting she won't change, but she does.

Married men live longer than single men, but married men are more willing to die.

Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Creative Writing

A university creative writing class was asked to write a concise essay containing these four elements:

- religion
- royalty
- sex
- mystery

The prize-winning essay read:

"My God," said the Queen. "I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it?"

Who's Job is it?

This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done, and Everybody was asked to do it.

Everybody was sure Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.

Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

Class Photograph

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, he's a doctor.'"

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher; ...she's dead."