A Sad Love Story Without Title ( 3 )

Since he has disappeared, I live like the one who has lost everything in life. Everytimes I passed that we first met, my tears always fell down. I know that I miss him so much, I really miss him alot. At nights, I always keep looking at the beautiful sky and the stars alone. "when you miss me, just look at the stars. I will be somewhere else looking at the stars and missing you too. " That's what he used to tell me.

On valentine day 2007, I waited for him to come to meet me and ask me the same question that he always ask but.. that was the most disappointed day in my life. He used to tell me that he will never give up, he will show me that he really love me, but why he choose to leave me secretly like this ?

2 months later, my family moved to live in another house. However, I always come to wait him in front of my old house every morning hoping to see him one day but I still cannot see him.

On 11th June 2007, my family went to visit thailand. While I was sitting in the airport waiting for the plane to leave, I suddenly saw him. He was coming from another country. My heart started to beat very fast. I ran toward him but..... I saw another girl ran to hug him and gave him a bunch of flowers. That girl used to be my classmate at high school. Her name is Chenda. I didn't know how they knew each other but they looked very sweet. They smiled at each oher. I could do nothing but watched them leaving the airport together.

He used to tell me that he didn't like to play game with love. He used to tell me that he want to live with me forever but now he made me cry. I felt I could not breath. It was really hurt to see the one we love being with another girl, but at least I could know that now he can live happily.

Since that day, I always tell myself not to think about him anymore. I try to study much harder and keep myself busy so that I do not have time to think about him. I try to lie myself that I do not love him anymore but his sweet smile always appear in my thinking everytimes I close my eyes.

As I am a year-2-student at medical faculty, i have to study at calmette hospital every mornings as a trainee. One day, I saw an unconscious man sent to the hospital because of the traffic accident. I was very shocked when I see that man's face because that was him, the man whom I try to forget.

His family came to the hospital as soon as they got the news. Chenda also came with them and I just knew that in fact, Chenda is his sister. I felt very sorry for everything that happened. He was survive but he was still unconscious. I always go into his room when there's no one in there. I looked at his white face, I held his cold hand and I talked with him. He used to be a talkative man but now he cannot talk anymore. i wish I could go back to the past.

Chenda told me that he had accident because he was drunk. He always drink every nights since he came back from Japan. Actually, he went to continue his study in Japan because he wanted to forget a girl he love but after leaving Cambodia afor 6 months, he felt that he could not forget her so he came back to find her but she had moved to another house and he could not find her. After that, he always drink every days just to forget her. Chenda told me everything but she didn't know that the girl whom he loves is me.

After a long time, he became conscious again but he cannot remember anything including everything that happened to him, his background, his family and... me. After what happened, I became close with him and Chenda. We usually go out together and later on, we became best friend. On 30th december 2007, we went to kampongsom to countdown for new year together. That night, Chenda went to sleep early andleft me and him sitting on the beach and watch the stars together.

Then, he looked at my neacklace, the one he gave to me on my birthday on 2004. He said "this necklace is very beautiful. It looks familiar to me. I think I used to see it somewhere before. "
" My boyfreind gave it to me on my birthday"
"why don't you ask him to come here with us ? ""
I looked into his eyes, then to the stars and said nothing.
"sorry if I remind you siomething that might upset you"
"he's not here anymore"

We stopped talking for awhile. Suddenly, he whispered " birthday.... ". Then, he contiued " Today is 31st december. It is her birthday. Today is her birthday. I used to look at the stars with her on her birthday"
I was very excited to hear that. I asked " you can remember now ? ''
He looked into my eyes and he whispered "Cinderella.. you are my Cinderella. "

My tears fell down. I hugged him tightly. He can remember me now. That was the best gift for my birthday. Since then, we always go out together as sweetheart. Most of our friends were getting jealous of us and they said we were the sweetest couple they have ever seen.

However, happiness cannot last for long time. On 14th february 2008, I expect to receive 11 red roses from him, I expect him to ask me the question he always ask me, I expect to tell him " I love you and I will love you forever. '' but what happened is very different from what I had expected. He came to meet me with a bunch of yellow roses. I looked at his face and waited for him to explain me.

"sorry " he said " I think I might make you hurt but I dón't want to lie you anymore. Since I remember everything again, I felt I have changed alot. My feeling for you is not the same as before. When I stay near you, I do not feel love anymore. I don't know why. I could not tell you the truth bcause I don't want to hurt you but I know that I cannot lie you forever. I hope you can forget me. please think that I am not in this world anymore. "
"is that the real reason? "
"yes"
"we cannot become like before ?"
"all good feeling that I used to have has gone. No matter how hard you try, it cannot come back "
"you have another girl ?"
"I can swear I have no one. What I tell you is the truth"
"I believe in you"
I turned back and walked away from him. he shouted "I hope we are still friend. You are my best friend"
Millions of tears fell down from my eyes. " you are my best friend" I hate this word so much. I don't want to hear it. I hope it was just a dream. That valentine day was the most painful day for me. I know that I cannot live without you but if letting you go can make you happy, I can do it for you. One thing that I can understand is that loving someone is not to hold that person tight but to give him freedom and let him do whatever he want to. To see the one we love being happy is is our real happiness even though that happiness is the result of our hurt. One day, I might feel regret to let you go but I will never feel regret to love you. Pi mnus mneak del bong thloip sne